I love Joanna and Chip Gaines from HGTV’s Fixer Upper. I find myself thinking of them sometimes throughout the day. How is it possible that they have this amazing house. Beautiful garden. Green house. Chickens. A whole farm. 4 kids. A show. The Silos. Magnolia Market. A book. How is this possible? How come I can’t get through my laundry pile?
Somedays I feel like the name of my show would be “The Fritz.” This is a nice phrase I love to use regularly. I say, “My phone is on the fritz.” (it really is today.) “My car is on the fritz.” (it actually is as well, because I was side-swiped last week). “My whole EVER-LOVING sanity is on the fritz (um…no comment)!!!!”
The actual meaning of “on the fritz”, in non-dramatic terms, is something that stops working, malfunctions, or acts in a way contrary to it’s usual manner.
I especially like this phrase, first off, because it’s fun to say, and secondly because it sounds like “The Ritz” but opposite…Like, “Oh man…we are staying at The Fritz.” And, believe me, no one wants to stay at The Fritz.
Back to Jo Jo and Chip …do you know what they have that you and I don’t? They have editing. Yes, their 4 children are playing preciously at their beautiful farm table….but we didn’t see the huge pile of junk directly to the left of the camera. OUT OF VIEW. We didn’t see that workers planted the flowers in the garden that Joanna is watering. They were OUT OF VIEW. We didn’t see the stress and strain of a huge professional life on their family…we didn’t see it. We don’t see it, and we won’t see it. But, their friends will. And, that’s as it should be. I have to remind myself of this easy fact. I am not friends with Joanna and Chip. Maybe someday. A girl can dream.
Can I let you in on a horrible secret? Most of my friends seemed perfect at first. And, then I got to know them. Hehehe. No offense to any of you. I love you more because of it. And, I’m honestly so glad you are not perfect. I’m glad you are a “fixer upper”. I’m glad you are on “the fritz”. Because I am too.
I’m so glad for authenticity. I’m so glad I get to see what’s OUT OF VIEW. Because when you see things “out of view” in your friends lives, you know you are doing life together. When you see laundry on their dining room table. When you see their kids have a huge fit. When you see them using Velveeta, or admitting their kids had marshmallows for breakfast. No edit. Nothing out of view. Friendship.
TV and social media sometimes work our brains over.
“Why is everyone having so much fun?”
“Why is everyone’s house pretty?’
“Why is everyone accomplishing so much?”
“Do I have value?”
“Do I have much to offer?”
Let me declare – YES!!! Yes, you do!!!
And you will see what you have to offer in real life relationships. You will see what you are good at. You will laugh at what you are bad at. You will feel unedited. You will feel seen.
No matter how busy we are. How stressed. We need people in our lives. We need community. We need friendships in every form. And, it’s hard. I wish churches offered classes on friendship. How to divide up your time. How to keep your family first and STILL have friends. How to work and have friends. How to be exhausted and have friends. I don’t know the answers or the secrets…but I do know that we have to make an effort. And, in all honesty, I get introverted at times, and am not great at this. But, God reminds me that I need people. We were not made to live in isolation. To live life wishing we had it together like so-in-so. Because, if you REALLY knew s0-in-so..you’d realize she doesn’t have it together either.
Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
Friendships challenge. Sharpen. Move. Push. Direct. Reveal. Support.
And, they stay at “The Fritz” with you, laughing all the way.
(P.S – if you are looking for friends and support, and feel like this is something missing in your life, try a community group at your church. For real. Do it.)