Hotline Bling

Dear Jesus,

I am sure Hotline Bling is not being played over the speakers in heaven, but I’m also sure that since you know everything, you know the song.  Or maybe you don’t?  But, you probably do.  And, I’m certain you dance better than Drake.  I mean, I might even dance better than Drake, so there is always that.

This song came on while I was in car line today, and weirdly it made me think of prayer.  I know it’s a far reach.  FAR reach.  But, every single day in the car line I have to pray.  Hit up my hotline to you.

For me, it’s more like “Carline Bling.”  Every day I have to pray and pray as I sit there about to pick up a precious 2nd grader and Pre-Ker (that has been at school for a grand 2 1/2 hours).  Praying “I’m so tired, and I have to be on my A game now.  Right now.  I have to listen to each story.  Help heal each wound.  Laugh at each joke.  Love deeply.  Be patient.  Help with homework.  Get to practice.  Make dinner.  Do bedtime.  Love.  Listen.  Laugh.  And all of this when I feel like I have nothing.”

Why does the car line make me feel this way?  It’s like “Game On.” Like the starting block before a sprint….right after you’ve finished a marathon.  (It’s also like Mario Kart 8, but that’s a whole different story.)

Jesus, you know motherhood isn’t for the faint of heart.  Or the proud.  You made motherhood the way it is to make us better.  To make us more like you.  I see what you did there.  It was a great idea.  To make it wonderful and SO hard.  So rewarding and depleting at the same time.  So full of heaven and yet so overwhelming.  In motherhood we desperately need you.  Every second.

But, you know what.  Are there any prayers that zing faster to heaven than desperate ones?   I would imagine those are the ones that get to you fastest.  You invented the hotline bling. But to you, it’s all about helping your desperate daughter.  Giving grace to me.  Loving me through my failures as a mother, wife, daughter, friend.

I don’t know how you do it.  How you send peace and wisdom.  How you send love.  How you give grace.  I don’t know how you answer and listen to each and every desperate prayer.  All I know is that your line is never busy.  And, I know that my minimal problems are not minimal to you.  And, that my giant problems are not too big, or too dark for you.  Nothing is too much for you.  Nothing is too small for you.  You are the Alpha.  You are the Omega.  You are the beginning and end.  You are the same yesterday, today, and forever.

And you care for me.  Little old top 40 pumping me.   If I let that totally sink in, my mind is blown.   Humbled.   Thankful.  Blessed.

You are more than enough.

Game on.