Our 5 1/2 year old golden retriever, Markey, has epilepsy. I didn’t know dogs could have this. It’s been quite the road with him. What started with small 1-3 minute seizures has now grown into the dangerous kind. We give him medicine twice a day every day, and now after the last episode are back up to three times a day.

Yesterday was the second time in a year that he’s starting seizing and not been able to stop. I’ll load my poor seizing dog in the car, and drive like a mad woman (running red lights and taking corners like a wild banshee). It’s about 12 minutes to our vet. Once there, they give him a shot. After the shot, the seizing stops.

The issue with these seizures is body temperature. It’s not that the seizure can kill the dog, but it raises their body temp and the longer it lasts the higher their temperature goes. His last big seizure lasted 20 minutes, his temperature in the danger zone, a few minutes longer and he’d be brain dead. Yesterday’s seizure was more short lived, probably 15-18 minutes because I immediately loaded him in the car.

I’m not sure what all is in this magical shot, and sure wish we could get it at home. (We are figuring this out). But, it makes him “drunk” and he can’t walk for a little while. But after about 30 minutes or so, he’s running around like his regular crazy self.

He even stole 2.5 giant Costco steaks off the counter at dinner.

From seizures to steak stealing. How is all that possible in a short time period? How can he go from the jaws of death to counter surfing?

That made me think of my own life.

I can ping pong back and forth between stress, anxiety, panic, and despair … to life and hope and God in the blink of an eye.

My friend Claire and I love “This Is Us” and love the scene in which Randall and Beth “fake smoke”. They hold a pretend cigg in their hands, lean on the car, and pretend to blow smoke. In reality, they are outside, deep breathing, and releasing their stress hormones. What is a funny scene, is also, to me, a positive mental health technique. They are acknowledging their stress, sharing and talking, outside, and passing a fake cigarette back and forth. It’s ridiculous, but also real.

Life is stressful. It just is.

John Eldredge says, “Most people live from uncertainty into some sort of striving and then, only once it’s over, do they rest. The enemy keeps this roller coaster going by throwing all sorts of obstacles in our way, fueling the uncertainty. I really hate this ride. But it’s effective because each new wrinkle, each new turn of events is just different enough from the last one that we get bated into ‘But how is THIS going to turn out?’ And ‘What about this time?”

“So we live from uncertainty to the next uncertainty with barely a chance to catch our breath and experience sabbath rest that is offered to the people of God….We are offered a chance to live from the end backward, knowing our life is going to turn out and turn out beautifully.”

The end backward.

The stolen steak dinner first.

But only it’s not stolen. It’s redemption and resurrection.

Can we let hope arise?

Sometimes it’s hard.

Sometimes when we are running red lights and trying to stop death, hope has left the building. But, later, slowly and shyly, it begins to quietly knock on our hearts.

Psalm 34 says “He delivered me from all my fears…”

I really ask God about this one. Is this true? Do you do that? I have so many fears…I was just working thru them in counseling this very morning.

He said to my heart…”I can do more than you can think, ask or even imagine. (Eph 3:20).“

We are all hiking redemption mountain. Redeemed and not condemned, but on a great and epic adventure encountering trials, storms, fears, and derailment on the trail up. We crash and fall, but he stands us up again, whispers hope, and leads the way…even letting us pause for a fake smoke break.

Thank you Jesus. You are more than we can imagine.