Well, here in Oklahoma we are open, but not normal. Still sifting through data and procedures. Knowing we can’t stay inside forever, and also knowing that the virus isn’t gone. A weird in-between that feels almost more exhausting to me. Decisions are unclear. There isn’t a right answer. Basically…we are storm tossed. I am storm tossed.
Today my kids and I were reading John 12. In the Message it says that Jesus said….”Right now I am storm tossed. And what am I going to say? Father get me out of this? No, this is why I came in the first place. I’ll say, “father put your glory on display.”
These words CUT ME DEEP. I have prayed, “Father get us out of this” a million times over the past 7 weeks. I want to be done with Covid. To be not worried about my parents. To not second guess every decision I make. GET. ME. OUT. OF.THIS. Pretty please. And I know he hears that prayer.
But then, his words go deeper. Jesus got it. I struggle to know this in my person. I have to read his words and REMEMBER.
Remember that I was created for a DISTINCT purpose, not created for ease. And that purpose is to put God’s glory on display. It’s the reason I exist in the first place. It’s why I’m here. I’m not like Jesus, but we do have the same family purpose. PUT GOD’S GLORY ON DISPLAY.
Put him on display not after the storm. Or before the storm. But when you are STORM TOSSED. When I am second guessing. When I’m mad. And worried. And angry. And OH SO WEARY. I’m so weary y’all. This has been HARD. That is real. It’s hard. I am out of my wheelhouse. And full of lots of feelings and struggles.
I don’t write this to say, hey…cover over your feelings by glorifying God. That’s not what God wants. He wants us to pour out our feelings to each other and to him, and to see THE BIG PICTURE. We are storm tossed. He is being glorified.
Press on warriors. The word of God is ALIVE AND ACTIVE. It’s our weapon against defeat.